In this wild old world of fast moving social media and marketing hype, you and your business gotta be different and the best way to stand out from the crowd is to embrace your weirdness!
Yes – you heard right – all those weird and wonderful things you’ve been stuffing under the covers hoping no one notices are the things that will make your dreams come true.
I loved watching the Katie Perry movie last night. She is someone who has seriously embraced her weirdness and given young women all over the world permission to love themselves for who they are. Weirdness Rocks!
During the last half of 2012 I spent a lot of time in Canada and the west coast of the USA. Since returning to Australia I’ve purposely cut myself off from the world to contemplate the “weirdness” concept. It was taught to me in training I did in LA, where I jetted in from Vancouver just in time to start the training at 2pm and jet out first thing the next morning to San Jose to another speakers event. It was remarkable the I could attend at all but the weird start time of the event made the impossible possible.
I’ve learned over time to really take notice of the events that happen synchronistically ….. they generally carry the greatest messages.
During the training we went through three case studies of women who had struggled to get where they wanted to be in their business even though they were gifted at what they did. They had achieved some success, but no where near what they knew the universe had in store for them. They were frustrated and were struggling to find their big breakthrough.
When they embraced the one thing they didn’t want to tell anyone about and packaged it up properly, the whole thing took off.
This of course resonated well with me because I know there is more and I have always sat outside the square. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me I was adopted, because I’ve been different from birth!
The thing I’ve come to realise over the years working with many clients is that we are all weird! We all have little idiosyncrasies that make us who we are, but in our longing to fit in, we conceal the things that will make us fit.
One of my Reiki teachers had this gorgeous saying:
“we’re all made up of different herbs and spices,
and that’s why we’re all so delicious”
In our humanness we never put those weird and peculiar spices out on the spice rack of life. Ironically those are the twists that make the dish so exotic and appealing.
I’ll use mine as an example so you can go ahead and figure out yours
I’ve always been a loner and a back end gal. By that I mean I’ve never been front of house – always in the back office. I worked my way up to financial controller of a big hotel. You will always find the admin office in the most inaccessible part of the hotel so there is no hope of anyone from accounts interacting with guests!
I started my office career doing a hotel’s payroll. You can’t get more back office than that! Back office is never sexy but watch the chaos flow if 100 staff don’t get paid, or even if a kitchen hand, so low in the pecking order that the industry ungraciously call them “dish pigs”, watch what happens if they don’t get paid.
The back end is the back bone of any business and if its not right, things go to pieces very quickly.
Back in the late 70’s I was a musician and again I was always in the back line. Back line is generally bass, drums, horns and keyboards.
One of the greatest examples of a “back line” person is Charlie Watts, drummer with the Rolling Stones. He was a classically trained and highly respected jazz drummer before he joined the band. A weird combination but without his classical training, quiet demeanor and masterful back beat, that wild front line wouldn’t have held together all these years. Back enders tend to be the introverts, but the extroverted front line can’t exist without them.
Front of house people have no trouble embracing their weirdness. In the same interview he described how, on his last visit to rehab, someone had told him he needed to be more careful with his grandiosity. His reply was “really ….. that made me who I am”. It was clear he had no intention of changing.
Despite his challenges with drugs and alcohol, he wasn’t going to change because he knew at core level that grandiosity was his weirdness and it’s what bought him fame and fortune. He was also flashing a very powerful lemurian crystal in his hand as he told this story. He’s way more than he appears on the surface.
Through their weirdness, all these ageless rockers have a deep spiritual connection that has allowed them to change the world and touch the hearts of thousands.
It’s the front line that appears to change the world. Front of house personalities are very different to those in back of house, but the front of house can’t function without the back end working exceptionally well. We need both to create magic
I’ve come to realise back end people can be trained to exist in the spotlight, but front enders can never move to the back line. I nearly died when while in some high end training with Brendon Burchard he told us he struggled with public speaking. When you see him today careering all over the stage like a madman, its hard to join the dots. But when I met him and he gave me a hug, I was taken by how gentle his energy was.
With all this introspection, I’ve realised most of the reason why our industry struggles to find the success it deserves and desires is because its a bunch of introverted back end personalities in front line roles they’ve not been trained to succeed at.
Secondly, wellness practices tend to lack back end and struggle along without systems or procedure, which will always make a back ender unconsciously uncomfortable.
All through the training in the USA it was hammered home to us that the money from book sales and events is made on the back end. In fact at the publishing event you could audibly hear a hushed chill run through the room when Brendon Burchard told 300 authors that his profit today would have been the same without his books, all of which have reached the New York Times Best Seller List. What he was saying is, he never made any money from the books – he made it on the back end. So if you have a book or are writing a book, you better get very okay with back end sales if you want to make any money from it.
You might ask what is the back end of a book? No its not the inside back cover 🙂 The back end is when you sell someone a book and then sell that same person a related webinar, a telesminar, a course, and event, an online product, a membership program.
The wise authors write the backend first, then write the book so it all locks together. Rich Dad, Poor Dad is a great example, he created the game first, then wrote the book to sell the game. Most write the book first, struggle to sell it, then end up with hundreds of books in their garage and no budget to develop the back end.
So once you have back end, then you need automation to push those products out the back end of the business without you doing anything. And there is my second piece of weirdness – I’ve always been awesome at backend software. I struggled to check a guest into the hotel software, but I excelled when I installed a fully integrated system right across every department, simply because I understood how it all fitted together at the back end. I could program a complex music sequencer quicker than the time it would take the lead singer to open the box!
By embracing my back end weirdness, I’ve stepped into an area where I can really help people. Just this week I sat watching in frustration as a very gifted client of mine struggling to get anywhere near close to documenting policy and procedures, yes a back end must have. In sheer frustration, I said I’d write them for her.
Well guess what happened. As I started to pull the information out of her head, I realised I’d heard these same problems before. She was describing the frustration of not being able to teach others how to deliver the same soul based service and treatment she has naturally delivered for years. She has done such a good job that now too many people want to work with her and she has to train someone else to step in and handle the load.
It had been written in times of my darkest despair, so I expected it would need a lot of work.
As I read it I realised it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever written and all that rolled off the pages was love.
Broke, suicidal and beyond rock bottom I obviously poured everything I had into that document in case it was my last.
This document from the darkness will be able to create for her not just a policy and procedure document but a Signature System that will change the world.
Just like the old rockers found out, our weirdness will sometimes land us at rock bottom, but rock bottom is the solid foundation of dreams.
How To Identify Your Weirdness
- Go back to childhood and tap into how you approached play back then. Me, I was happiest out the back playing in the shed with my dolls house …. alone!
- In teenage years how did you make friends? Did you hang out in packs or were you a solitary creature? Me, I was playing in the back line of a rock n roll band.
- Still today I’m happiest with minimal people around me.
- In your 20’s and 30’s what were you working at?
- Look for the common thread in everything you have done.
- THEN – look to your darkest moments. They generally occur when you have been pushed out of your magnificence. The key is in how you pulled out of your darkest moments.
- Go back to the archives and see if you have something that didn’t hit the spot back then, but might be ripe for success in this new energy.
My greatest gifts are helping people get their back end right and helping people identify the gifts in their rock bottom moments. The best place to find that is at my speaking training Courageous Speaking.
When you find your Signature Story, you are on the way to finding your Signature System.
Once you have that – the world opens up to more potential and success than you could ever deem possible.